I need some privacy, well I don’t know about you but when in a serious relationship does your partner need to know all of your secrets, your past and everything you do in 100% honestly? I don’t know maybe my past relationships worked differently since I was living in Canada. But you know like my boyfriend is always looking up dirt on me from the past, googling me, emails my old friends, talking to my family, hacking into my X-boyfriends emails. Basically I have no privacy even my laptop he searched threw and my cell phone he checks them on a regular basis.

 

He claims that there is no such thing as privacy in a relationship, but you wanna know what everything he finds out or I tell him he uses against me. Like he didn’t want me to get a credit card, anyways I’m an adult and I got a credit card with a very small amount on it. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want him to be mad, however when I returned home on Friday with a new phone he began saying I have been taking money from someone, and I am cheating on him.

 

All of this because I got a phone, so I told him I got my salary and I put the cell phone on my credit card. Apparently he needs to be informed about any choice I make so I can seek his approval. Like maybe it’s a Canadian thing but I am a queen, and I don’t answer to anyone. Anyways so the fight escalated from there and we ended up in a fist fight, I burned him with a cigarette and he threw me against the wall, and so on and so on and so on. 

 

His older brother came in and beat him up for treating me this way, this is when I began to pack my stuff to leave. Of course he began to cry and apologies, please stay please stay it will never happen again. To be honest with you I have given up on trying to leave because it is pointless its better for me to stay there until I get my shit together. Like I do love him but my love is pretty much gone at this point.

 

He says I never share with him (my feelings and such) and I don’t care about him and I don’t show others that I love him. Well u want to know what I’m not that type of person I don’t worship anyone. In my life I am Number One when I get married then is when everything is his business and we then truly share a life together. But just because other girls will treat there boyfriends like Gods doesn’t mean I will.

 

Anyways do you feel that when in a relationship you must lay all you cards out on the table? Or it is normal not to share every detail of your past, present and future with your loved one?

I know its a little stereo typical for a woman to be talking about her abusive boyfriend. however funny story i had no idea i was being abused until i read an article about the subject. 

So my boyfriend began of great, i actually started living with his brother him and my friend Yasmin. I suppose everyone knew he liked me so a month or so after that we began dating. everything was great, then he began checking my phone and computer, if i had called anyone he would yell at me, if i had photo’s of my X he would get upset. anyways later on he ended up breaking my phone in half and breaking my sim card so i couldnt call anyone anymore.

There have only been 3 physical incidents, the first of which i packed my things and was going to leave. but of course everyone intervened and made promises. it was nothing serious but still, so i changed the password on my laptop and when i refused to tell him (but offered to let him use it) he smashed my lag with the laptop and threw it on the ground. thank god my MacBook is fine this is an expensive machine. 

He likes to take alot of drugs and get fucked up then get angry at me for any reason he can find. i am not allowed to have my own friends i cant go out without him unless to work. he even got a job 5 minutes walk away from mine. so he can come see me on my break and lunch time.

Once he began yelling at me while i was on my lunch break. while heading back to work he followed me and refused to leave screaming at me in the hallway. only the secretary knew, i even had to ask someone to call security. 

Most of our fights are over me and the way i am. of course everything is my fault, i am not allowed to have privacy any time he even come and opens the door to the bathroom while i am using it. im in another country far away from Canada and i have no family here. i am not to sure what to do since he kinda made it so i cant have my own friends.

We rented a car together while his is being fixed and he wont let me drive it anywhere even to go get some mcdonalds. i am never given a moment alone and if i bring up something he did to upset me. he makes a fight over something.

What to do what to do???